"I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay,a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you." "Then it was you who wounded Aravis?" "It was I." "But what for?" "Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no-one any story but his own ." "Who are you?" asked Shasta. "Myself," said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again "Myself," loud and clear and gay: then the third time"Myself," whispered so softly you could hardly
hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all round you as if the leaves rustled with it."

from The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis


Monday, January 4, 2010

wisdom, rubies, and responsibility

I should be acting as the responsible teacher right now but my focused mind is nowhere to be found. tonight I went and saw the movie Precious. I knew it wouldn't be the easiest movie to watch, as I had been warned and had watched the trailer. but as I've wallowed in self-pity, dreading a year that holds a lot of changes for me, I knew I needed to see someone whose life is worse than mine and how conquering occurred in circumstances far more complicated and distorted than my own.

this past semester, as I've looked with my dsg into the proverbs and seen the juxtaposition of wisdom and folly, I've kept wondering how to really know the difference between the two, since sometimes the decisions I make seem so small that it's hard to tell what is more wise or what is more foolish. is there always a choice? are some decisions always better or worse than others?

in the movie tonight, as Precious made steps, I could see how it was difficult to distinguish wisdom and folly in her life, too, no matter how different her life was from mine. beginning with reading a book title, "a day at the shore," and progressing to an almost 8th grade reading level by the end of the film, she demonstrated her ability to further her mind. her decisions brought her wisdom in education but her desire for love and to be a good mother to her children, those things are what gave her wisdom in finding the steps she needed to take to fulfill her desires.

all that to say, I appreciated Precious. I appreciated the way her character began somewhat small and obviously traumatized, neglected, and abused and how she was transformed into a purposeful and hopeful student and mother.

she exhibited an innocent child, born into the lowest and most cruel follies, then recognizing her own worth and hope as a human being, seeking wisdom and a better life for herself and her babies. she reminds me of the verse below, personifying the woman wisdom.

"blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. she [wisdom] is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her." -proverbs3:13-15
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