troubled.

this weekend i accompanied my parents up to northwest florida to attend the funeral of one of my dad's lifelong friends.

it was pretty strange to meet all of my dad's surfing buddies from the 1960s and 1970s, especially after hearing their (strange) names for so many years. they all had weird nicknames like captain scarbelly, china, joe buck, and street fighter. seriously! (my dad is known as java, and not because of coffee).

i heard hilarious stories of their surfing adventures whilst witnessing their grief at the loss of a beloved friend.

a lot of thoughts have gone through my mind since then, a few of which include the brevity of life, God's role in "calling" someone home to Heaven, and living a life that shows your care and concern for those around you.

first of all, the brevity of life. last night i was watching the bachelor with my mom (don't judge me, we've been watching it for YEARS!) and one of the girls vying for the heart of brad was a funeral home director. she actually was an embalmer. she made a comment about how americans are scared to death of death! they deny it and avoid it (that is, avoid dying and avoid dealing with it). i find this to be true. life is short. i admit to being scared at the thought of losing my parents. with one of my dad's friends being the first in his group to go, it's troubling to know that they've reached the age in which is won't be all that uncommon to lose people they love... and people i love. i'm thankful for the time we had to visit the church i grew up in and hear pastor J (who is the little brother of my dad's friend who passed away) speak. i love that he talked about Heaven and how even Jesus didn't go without feeling troubled. Jesus felt troubled at the death of his friend Lazarus (john 11:33). but, when you look to john 14:1-6, you see how Jesus assures his followers that he is going to prepare a place for us... that we shouldn't be troubled about that. as pastor J said, "not that you won't be troubled in life, but one thing you don't have to be troubled about is your final destination: heaven."

the other thought i've been mulling over is God's [huge] role in how brief our life actually will be. my dad's friend was one of the healthiest, most active sixty-year-old men around. he surfed nearly every day and had just been told last year that he had the heart of a thirty-year-old. yet, he died of a massive heart attack. what happened? these things trouble us. we don't understand why. if someone is neglecting their health, it makes a little bit more sense. we say things like, "well, if so-and-so had just gotten her ass off the couch every once in awhile..." or "if he had just worn sunscreen..." [which is what might have prevented my own grandfather from dying when i was only one-year-old]. but then you take my dad's friend and pastor J's brother. gone. no explanation. it doesn't mean we have to question God or even get angry with God. we can, and i don't really see much harm in it unless it turns us away from God. however, one thing we can spare ourselves from is wondering about his final destination. we can live without troubling ourselves about where he is. Y loved God. he knew that Jesus was the only way to know God and that his life was empty without God. he made sure those around him knew it, too. it was a life well-lived.

Y showed deep care and concern for those around him. my dad brought a postcard to the funeral that Y had sent to him last fall. Y sent postcards to his friends when he thought of them. he never joined FB, wasn't into e-mail. but he still managed to show how much he cared for the people in his life, whether they were a new friend, or an old surfing buddy. further, at the funeral on saturday, his family made photocopies of Y's prayer list. they said he kept it for years - he rewrote it as things changed or prayers were answered. there were three pages of names, equaling sixty lines of names (probably around 150 names). as my parents and i looked through the list, we saw our own family on the list: "s & family." a few lines later we saw my mom's parents on the list: "mr. & mrs. B." wow. this guy had been praying for us...possibly for years. and we never knew. i didn't really know Y. i had seen him and casually talked to him throughout the years. when i visited his surf shop pre-retirement i would make sure to say i was S's daughter. but other than that, i only knew him as my dad's friend, my best friend's uncle, and my childhood pastor's brother. i knew his reputation but i didn't know how far it extended. i don't know that anyone did, really. and yet he was praying for us.

what a blessing to live a life seeped in the prayers of saints.

http://vimeo.com/20183276

i'm not sure what all of this means for my own life, but i'm convinced it's significant.