the hamburger.

Lindsay sent me this book in the mail called "Turn my Mourning into Dancing" by Henri Nouwen.

this quote in the book really struck me:

"it takes sustained effort to reclaim my whole past as the concrete way God has led me to this moment."

it's in a chapter that is talking about how we often try to only remember the good from the past & try to forget the bad/hurtful from the past. I am guilty of doing this. I think, "If I can just forget that.... I'll feel better." but I don't. or I can't forget. or I only remember bits & pieces because I repressed it so it's harder for me to make sense of the hurt.

Nouwen talks about how it's important to gain an attitude of gratitude for what has happened and to see God's hand in bringing us to where we currently are. he says how much better it would be if we walked through suffering rather than trying to avoid it at all cost.

sometimes it takes awhile, but it seems that things always come together for me eventually. lately I've been thinking about how I can have a better attitude towards people in my life - especially people who I used to be close to in my past. when I was going through things, I did everything I could to avoid the pain, confrontation, etc. but it always comes back up. sometimes i think it's because I have too much time on my hands... but as Nouwen said, "...God has led me to this moment" so perhaps the amount of time that has been specifically alloted to me is to learn how to walk through and not around .