no una buena idea.

this is probably the last place I should be expressing my thoughts given the past two days. I'm reminded of the "four Hs" that I learned about in the Czech last summer that one undergoes while experiencing culture shock:
1. Honeymoon
2. Hostile
3. Humor [at least, I think this is the third one...I'm having doubts...]
4. Home

I'm not gonna lie, my honeymoon period is always very short lived. I'm a reality sort of gal. I would definitely say that I spend a lot of time in the hostile zone. My feelings are easily crushed and yet my good moments are incredibly good.
I also keep thinking of Frances in "Under the Tuscan Sun" after she made a rash decision to buy a house in Italy.

"The trick to overcoming buyer's remorse is to have a plan.

Pick one room and make it yours.

Go slowly through the house. Be polite, introduce yourself, so it can introduce itself to you."

that's how I'm feeling about d.c.
I need to pick one or two places and make them my own. I did it, too, in "my" basement... as I've put things on the walls in the "living room" but even though I am most at home in this space, I am also most alone here.

I think I glamorize the idea of "home." what does that mean? when I was little, I knew home. I knew it so well. but now, I don't know.