anxiety.

"you just got past liking guys that aren't good for you and now satan is going to make you stumble over finances??" - a friend.

so so true. my friend's words of truth combined with the ultimate truth from the master teacher brought me back to kingdom thinking:

"therefore i tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. are you not much more valuable than they? who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

...

but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own." - matthew 6:25-27, 33-34

i think a lot of things are "easier said than done." however, i think with anxiety and constant worrying about what i cannot control, the right thing can indeed be done.

sanctification and the seven marias.

this morning I woke up to head to work and once again face the seven marias & thirteen other students I am currently teaching ESL to.

I love them.

last night was very sobering as I sat in the floor of my room and read through their paperwork. it was one thing to read their information but now, I know their beautiful faces. I know the personalities that go with their names.

so last night, I decided to go through their paperwork and I noticed their prior schooling. most of them did around five years of primaria in mexico. imagine: no longer going to school after the 5th grade.

my eyes filled with tears as I realized so many things at once: what I have taken for granted, how God has given me such a gift by giving me a job to teach these adult students, and further reassurance that I was where I needed to be.

I often feel inadequate in what I can give to my students. today was one of those days. lately I've been thinking about my friends who are or have recently gotten married and have been reminded that marriage is a sanctification process. God uses the institution of marriage to make two people become more holy and thus glorify him.

I am no where close to marriage. sometimes I wonder, if I don't get married, will I be lacking in areas of growing in holiness that married people will have?

teaching is a huge challenge for me. it seems somewhat impossible for me to believe that I could one day be an amazing teacher. today I thought I failed. and maybe by my own standards, I did. but a maria came up to me after class. this maria is my oldest student, a maria with a very reassuring smile. she touched my arm and whispered in my ear, "you a good teacher." it took everything in me not to start crying. I just looked at her and said, "thank you." almost immediately I realized: God is and will continue to use teaching to make me more like him. it won't be easy, but if this is what he has chosen as a means for my sanctification, I say yes to him.

every tribe & tongue & nation.

"Y cantaban un cántico nuevo, diciendo:
Digno eres de tomar el libro y de abrir sus sellos,
porque tú fuiste inmolado, y con tu sangre compraste para Dios
a gente de toda tribu, lengua, pueblo y nación."
Apocalipsis 5:9

"And they sang a new song:
"You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation."
Revelation 5:9