facebook "friends"

tonight I deleted 31+ "friends" from facebook. basically, I "removed" the people who I confirmed and then they never said anything to me, never said hello, never commented on a picture, ... never tried. AND... the ones that I did the same to. hey, I don't claim innocence! (: I mean, why I did even request the friendship anyways? Seriously.

it's like, we are LAZY people. we want to keep up with people but not in a personal way. and I'm exhausted.

I think friends are one of the best gifts in the entire world. if you were in my life for awhile and then our friendship "died" - I still am usually very thankful for the time we were in each others lives. but. things change. we end up in different places geographically, emotionally, physically, etc. and here's the thing, if I have your phone number or you have mine, or you have my e-mail address and I have yours, if you want to know what's going on with me or I with you, we should talk on the phone. or send an e-mail. even a short text will do.

OR. say we were friends for awhile. and then, one of us moves. and slowly, we don't talk anymore. and then, never. so two years later, I delete you from my facebook.

but we run into each other in public. guess what? I'm still going to be thrilled to see you. and we'll catch up then. I will want to hear all about your babies and the pta you run. etc etc etc. but, I'd rather not pretend that I'm in contact with you when, in fact, we are merely awkward facebook "friends."

if you know me, you know that I'm a huge facebook fan. but, "downsizing" is my new alternative to restarting my entire facebook. I've just gotta stay strong. survival of the fittest (friends), right? ha.

the economy of mercy.

"in the economy of mercy, I am a poor and begging man....in the currency of grace, is where my song begins."

I was in the city earlier today with my aunt & cousin and we were asked repeatedly for money by homeless people. as believers, we all struggled with whether to give or not to give. none of us really felt led in any way to give, but didn't want to lie either, ya know?
but in the city, you're just bombarded over and over...
and it's easy to become completely numb to the brokenness of the world.

on the train back I was listening to my ipod on shuffle and the switchfoot song "economy of mercy" came on. my soul perked up a bit when I heard the line, "in the economy of mercy, I am a poor and begging man."

my mind attempted to pull pieces together, as if trying to put together a huge puzzle. then I heard the line, "we are bruised and broken masterpieces, but we did not paint ourselves."

I can't sit here and pretend to know anything at all of life on the streets or the pathway that leads to begging. but I have seen this... there's something about persistence.

I fail him over and over again. I deny him and feel such deep shame. I walk up to him time and again and ask, "could you spare me some mercy?" and he reaches out & pours grace into my beggar's cup. then, I forget the value of the grace he gave me. and I say again, "could you spare me some mercy?" and he once again gives me grace.

this week I keep coming back to the story of the prodigal son. and I think there's something with that, too. but that's for another day.

marriage.

when I think about getting married, I think about how I would no longer need to look for a roommate/roommates & how we would find a nice 1-bedroom apartment to live in....even though I'm 24. ha.

but I have friends who are getting married who bought a house. a HOUSE.

wow. that just seems so grown up...ya know??