can of worms.

"It is, I think, that we are all so alone in what lies deepest in our souls, so unable to find the words and perhaps the courage to speak with unlocked hearts, that we do not know at all that is the same with others." - sheldon vanauken


over and over and over again this quote comes to me. trust is SO hard for me! especially when my faith in people has been wrecked over and over and over again.

driving in my car to my 'happy' music makes things easier to overcome. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it really is true. some of my freest moments have been turning up the music and just driving. there's just something about it.

I want to finish this post someday...but not now. so this is my official "note to self."

think I'm gonna stay home, have myself a home life.

home is the sweetest word in the English vocabulary. or, at least to me. I love it.

my list of things to accomplish before Wheaton time is getting shorter... I am down to finding a place to live & getting a physical & sending in my financial aid info. three really important things, but feasible. I can't believe that this is going to happen. I'm a little freaked out, but in a good way. it's weird to have my world shaken again... in a way, I think I'm stalling from having to declare any place 'home.' by going to school again, I'm able to set up home but not commit to the long term permanence of one place. and that is such a relief.

resisting sleep.

sometimes I think we stay awake just because we feel like we have to.
because to go to bed at 9pm seems silly.
when really, we end up staying up late... often to do nothing.

what do we have to prove?